The Broomfield Sky

"I don't wanna sound like a big tool, but we were wondering tonight what the exact alcohol content of pbr is. We looked everywehre on your cans and on the box of the 30 we got and failed to find anything. So yea you should know this truth. Please get back to me and I'll love you forever. Although i already do love you forever so we're cool....right...thanks! bye!"
    – via tufts daily

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I drank a beer out of the bottle tonight. As I looked around at the rich Christians of Boulder surrounding me, they all either had their beers in glasses, or went to classier beverages altogether. The only other guy drinking out of the bottle and not wearing a tie-and-jacket was instead in a sweater-vest and had a white mustache, nulling any connection we might have had over our not-coolness. He knew what was up.